Posts Tagged ‘pets’

Communicating with pets after their death

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
Yellow Tabby

Yellow Tabby

I am fascinated by communications with pets who have transitioned. Having left all the worldly cares behind some are off and running towards their next life experience. Some pause to watch over their loved ones who need comfort as they grieve. Still others need time to recuperate. The experiences are as varied as the creatures themselves.

Owners so often agonize over making “the decision.” Is it the right time? Am I being selfish to wait? Animals understand intention. If the intention is good then they can easily make peace with your decision.

I am reminded of the transitioned dog I communicated with who was in shock. There was no warning. Just a quick trip to the vet and it was over. It would have eased her transition had her owners spent just a few minutes explaining to her what was about to happen. But even then she was able to get past it and explore her new world.

A cat I visited with shortly before his death was simply furious at finding himself trapped. He fussed and fumed and struggled with everything he had in him until he became resigned to his impending death. The next time I communicated with him he had transitioned and was totally at peace. His only concern was for his grieving “mom” who was inconsolable that she had been unable to find his body. He wanted her to understand that the body was no longer important and to please not try to find it as that would only cause her more pain. He urged her to adopt another feline soon and move forward rather than stay stuck in the past with her grief.

There are many more stories, some I will share in future posts. But, before I conclude, I wanted to pass along a message from the spirit animal’s perspective on the topic:

They feel the burden of your grief and worry like a string tethering them to your world. It is up to the human to do their part to let go and allow their pet to move on. Letting go is more than just making the decision to euthanize. It is thanking them for their presence in your life, for the joy and memories. then letting go and moving on with your life. You do no honor to your pet by remaining stuck in grief and depression. If you need them to spend time with you in spirit they are perfectly willing to do that, most of the time. Again you must allow it and then acknowledge their gift. Appreciate that they are giving more of their attention to you than to moving on and do not take advantage of it. Use the time to pull yourself together and move on. Know that they are perfectly happy for you to find another pet. In fact you do them great honor by doing so. It means that you are willing to open your heart to another and share the love as you did with them. You can do them no greater honor.

Do not agonize over whether to get another pet. If you feel another would fit into your life then go ahead and do it. The sooner the better as you will begin the healing process and then your transitioned pet will be able to move on that much quicker. If they feel they left you worse off than when they found you they will feel dishonored.  It’s like a black cloud hanging over them. It means they did not do their part in your life to prepare you for moving forward. They do not want to hold you back. They want you to continue growing and expanding just as they are. That is the greatest gift you can give them once they have crossed over.

Have you communicated with a pet who has transitioned? Was it what you expected? Did it give you comfort? I’d love to hear your story. Please click on comments below to share your experience.

What happens to my pet(s) when I die?

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

If you have pets, from time to time you may wonder what would happen to them in the event of your death. Usually those thoughts are quickly pushed aside as too painful to think about.

The choices that immediately come to mind are:

1. Do nothing and leave their fate up to providence.

2. Set up a trust to care for them per your specifications.

3. Leave them in the care of a trusted family member or friend.

4. Have them humanely euthanized and let them accompany you to the next world like the Pharaohs of old.

Of course there are pros and cons to each of these options and the choice is further complicated depending upon the number, age, and expected life span of your pet(s).

Probably the most common is doing nothing. This option places an unfair burden upon the person handling your estate. Maybe they’ll find a wonderful home. More likely they will end up in a shelter competing with all the other homeless animals, potentially facing euthanization. Pleas for pets seeking homes after their owner dies are not uncommon.

If you are financially able, you may choose to set up a trust and specify your wishes in your will. (It is important to note that without a will pets are considered part of the estate and go to next of kin, regardless of your wishes.) In this way you can provide for your pet(s) for the remainder of their lives. You can specify the exact care they are to be given. There is still no guarantee that they will thrive without you, but at least you will have done everything in your power to provide for their well being.

Designating a trusted family member or friend to assume the responsibility may be an option if that person is ready, willing, and able to take on such a responsibility. But what happens if the pet(s) outlive this person or if their circumstances change?

I have heard more than one person state that it is their intent to have their pet(s) euthanized in the event of their (the owner’s) death. Having considered the above-mentioned options and their associated pitfalls, they have concluded that this is the best way to ensure their pet(s) well being. However, this option requires finding a vet willing to euthanize pets regardless of their age and physical state. You should also know that your request may not be legally enforceable.

There simply is no “right” or “perfect” choice. In fact the “right” choice may differ from one pet to another. So what is a caring pet owner to do?

As an animal communicator the most natural option that comes to mind is: Talk to them about your concerns and find out if they have a preference.

You may be surprised at their answers. Animals view death as simply a transition, as opposed to humans who mostly fear their inevitable passing.

Your pet(s) may not want to live without you. How many times have you heard about pets who die shortly after their owners? On the other hand, your pet(s) may not be finished with this life experience and would prefer to take their chances at finding a new, loving home. You’ll never know if you don’t ask. Plus you’ll have the peace of mind of knowing that your pet(s) were included in the decision-making process.

Please feel free to contact me with questions or to assist you in communicating with your pet(s).